Transcript 0:00 This episode is sponsored by Zapier, which honestly is the only reason my newsletter growth doesn't look like a hot mess. 0:06 You probably know this about me, but I work at Beehiiv, and I also have my own media company that's operated by Beehiiv, and I run Facebook lead ads using Meta. 0:16 It's nothing fancy, but every time someone fills it out, a lead form on Facebook, Zapier just snags that event and drops the subscriber straight into my Beehiiv account. It's super easy to set up. 0:27 There's no exports required. I don't have to, like, maintain it over time. I just set up this Zap one single time between Facebook and Beehiiv, and Zapier takes care of everything. 0:38 It's an integration that works with Beehiiv, of course, but also, like, 8,000 other apps. 0:44 So if you create a Zapier account and you wanna connect your WordPress and your Shopify and your Beehiiv account and HubSpot contacts or Salesforce contacts, and you wanna really integrate these different events that happen across your entire tech stack, Zapier is just that good at making it happen seamlessly. 1:02 Zapier is my glue holding together my entire tech stack. And if you've got a business and you're trying to integrate your different tech tools across your stack, Zapier is the way to go. 1:12 Thank you so much for opening up for us, Daniel. Big Zapier guy. We use Zapier all over the place in, in Demo. So it's like, and actually with Beehiiv. That's right. 1:21 Funny enough, I have like four different Zap workflows because of Beehiiv. It's sick. It's so easy to use. Like an idiot can literally use it, but... Dude, how was your Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving was great. 1:30 We went to Asheville. It was good. I, I pulled my back. Did I tell you about this? Ooh, no. Um, yeah. But that's some old people stuff. Tell us. It was, it was crazy. Oh, dude, I, I don't really know what happened. 1:39 There wasn't like a specific thing, but I had some discomfort, and then the day after it was two times as discomfort, and then it was like really bad. 1:47 It got so bad that I actually went to the urgent care on Thanksgiving Day to just get like relief, pain meds and stuff. So I'm good now. Mm-hmm. I'm, I'm back in, uh, Charleston. I went to the chiropractor this morning. 1:58 I'm feeling like very optimistic. It... I must have just tweaked something just the right way where it's just terrible. And once you're- Yeah... 2:05 as de- dilapidated as me, just like tweaking something just the right way can be like total paralysis. But yeah, otherwise, it was good. How was yours? Uh, it was good. It was good. We actually don't do... 2:15 I think I said this in my last episode, we don't do too much. We went to an Indian restaurant. Kids actually freaked out, so that was a fun time. Um, but- Okay... 2:23 do you think this, this little back thing that you have going on, I think 20 episodes ago you told us your back's bad. You were running for a long time, and you couldn't even move. Yeah. Your neck hurts. 2:31 You needed steroids in your neck or like shots or whatever, then all this stuff. Yeah. Is it because you're running again? No, I don't think it's related. 2:38 I mean, it's probably not unrelated, but I don't think it's caused by the running. Second cousins. There's just so much. I mean, I could have- Second cousins... 2:44 when you have, when you have a back like me, anything, anything could upset it. We took family pictures a couple weeks ago, and I threw Maverick like way up into the air a few times. And- Dude, he... 2:52 Great neck, by the way... you know, like anything. Yeah, anything. Anything could- Yeah... could cause a flare-up. 2:57 So I think some of it's just overall inflammation and so just like watching my diet, watching how I'm, you know, consuming inflammation types of foods. I don't know. It's, it's holistic. 3:08 I'm doing sort of everything I can nowadays to just keep as lean as possible with inflammation and diet and stuff. Yeah. I have no idea what to do to reduce inflammation. 3:17 Like a lot of people are like, "Eat this, eat that. Drink this, drink that." I'm like- Yeah... I, I don't know. Like there's so many different things that you can do. There's anti-inflammation diets. 3:26 Yeah, I mean, reducing gluten intake, reducing dairy intake, alcohols and inflammation food or inflammatory food or, or drink and, you know, just a lot of very basic things you can do. 3:37 More vegetables, like a vegetable will be anti-inflammation, so it'll reduce inflammation just by eating them. Hmm. But like- Interesting... I don't know, it's just pretty basic stuff. Yeah, yeah. 3:45 But a lot of people- Yeah, right... have bloated diets and don't even know it. So- Yeah, yeah... they just kind of live in a constant state of bloatedness. 3:53 That's actually why I started taking AG1 a f- a few, uh, what, a year ago now. Um, super good for bloatedness and, and- Yeah... anti-inflammation. 4:02 I always go with the off-brand AG1 stuff that's just like at Walmart where it's like 10 bucks. That's right. 4:08 And I don't know if it does anything, but according to the ingredients, I get my daily dose of vegetables through that, so yeah. Whatever though. I don't know. There's, there's... It, it's all greens. 4:17 Greens are greens are greens and, you know, some of them are probably more potent than others. Whatever. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. 4:21 Hey, Daniel, so if your sons, both of your sons, were sitting on a therapist's couch 20 years from now and they were talking about you, what is the one specific complaint you are terrified that they will have? 4:35 He cared more about work than he did about me. Common theme. That's, that's my, that's my legitimate fear more... I'm very, I'm very mindful of that being a reality if I'm not constantly keeping myself in check. 4:50 You know, when I go into my office, my kids both know, oh, Daddy's working. And I open my door sometimes so that they know they can come in and, you know, whatever. 4:59 Periodically I'll have one of them on my lap during a call and very friendly, I think, post, you know, remote work environment in, in general, like you have your kid on your lap during a call. 5:09 Like I've never gotten flack for that with an internal or external meeting. It's just people just are okay with it. But 5:17 the fact of the matter, the, the weird kind of dichotomy of working from home, we've talked about working from home a lot, is that I am at home working 50 hours a week. And yes, I'm at home. It's great. 5:28 I can walk out my door and have lunch with my kids, and I can hear them playing together and, you know, I, I can, I can say hi and, and give them hugs and everything throughout the day. 5:37 But 50 hours of their life every week I am in this office working, whereas if you're somewhere else, it's kind of out of sight, out of mind. Like, oh, Daddy's just at work, but you don't necessarily see them. 5:49 So I don't know. I think that's my fear though. I think they'll be having therapy sessions about that maybe someday if I don't play my cards right. 5:57 So do you think that they're developing a better relationship with your wife, or do you think this is more so... 6:03 Grooming is definitely not the right word, but like essentially teaching them that like at the end of the day, you will be gone. 'Cause they're gonna go to school at some point, and you're gonna be working- Yep... 6:10 when they're at school. Yep. You think that this is just kind of teaching them like, oh, in the middle of the day, like people work, and then when they get older, it's like, okay, I go to school, so on and so forth? 6:18 OrIs there anything that plays into that with, like, relationship building? I think there's-- 6:24 I think the way they're growing up is, is different than when you and I, you know, like the normal, like, traditional family in the '80s and '90s is, like... I don't know. I mean, that's a great question. 6:36 That's a great question. I think they know it's normal that Dad works. 6:40 And now my wife, we have a, a nanny three or four times a week where she, you know, Palmetto Parents is this media company that we have built together. It's really growing rapidly. 6:51 And she's no longer able to just do it when she can. 6:55 So we have dedicated, I don't know, it's like probably five to ten hours a week of time where we have a nanny that comes, and she goes to a coffee shop or just, like, you know, goes into her office here at home and works. 7:06 That's new as of the last few months. We've started that, and I think they know 7:12 we have to work, and we've, we've tried to teach them like, "Hey, we, we work so that you guys can have a great life and that we can be generous and, you know, we can be giving and, and find needs in the world and the community and help meet those needs." 7:24 But I don't know. I mean, three-and-a-half, four-year-old, I don't know that he can really comprehend all the nuances of what goes into this yet. Yeah, probably not. Definitely not the younger one. Yeah. 7:33 Do you think that if they were at daycare, you would feel like you work too much still in regards to, like, being around them versus working? No. Well, and honestly, I don't, I don't know that I do work too much. 7:42 I think my fear is that they will think I worked too much. Like, I think right now I work a lot. I, I try to- Yeah... I try to shut the door and be present, and that's something we've talked a ton about here on the show. 7:54 Yeah, for sure. Just really, really being present when you're, when you're there. But I think my fear is they will say, "Dad chose work instead of me." 8:02 The reality is, I have to choose work instead of them sometimes right now. Yeah. That's the stage of life we're in. Like, I haven't made it yet. I can't not work. Like, I'm not a millionaire. 8:12 I can't just, like, shut the switch off and say, "All right, we're good now." So, like, I have to keep doing this. Not yet. Not yet. But I think... Exactly. Not yet, no. I mean, yeah. Soon. Soon, baby Cross our fingers. 8:21 Uh, maybe someday. So, you know, it's-- I think they, they get it. My, my oldest is in preschool three days a week right now. Okay. Next year, it'll be four or five days a week, and so he goes, it's like eight... 8:31 no nine, nine to one, so four hours. Uh, good, good chunk of time. 8:36 And, um, you know, he, he knows I have to work, but like yeah, I think there is a part of my brain where when he's at school and the other one's with my wife, you know, doing whatever it is they do throughout the day, I'm like, "All right. 8:48 Lock in." Like, "Let's do this." Like, there's literally nothing else that I could be giving my attention to. Yeah. Yeah. 8:52 Which I think is some of the things you've described about your co-working space, where you're there, you're like, there aren't distractions. 8:58 Even if they're good distractions, like, "Oh, I could open the door and see what my kids are up to." Like, nope. If you're at an office out and about, like that's... You just- Yeah... 9:06 you have to like sit down and lock in, you know? Yep. Yep, yep. And so if, if, if this is your first time listening, Daniel has two boys. I've got two boys. We both have two boys, and so I feel like we walk- We do... 9:18 I feel like we kind of walk, like, this fine line, especially in today's day and age, and so I'm gonna ask a question about that. 9:24 What is one part of traditional masculinity that you want to ensure they keep, and what's one part that you're just like, "Yeah, you don't need to keep that." Like, that's old school stuff. 9:34 I think the concept of the man of a house protecting their family, and I'm not getting into like- Yeah [laughs]... carrying guns and protection and all that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm saying like, like keeping them safe. 9:51 Like, them being a fortress for their spouse, their kids, knowing that when you're home or anywhere with me, the dad, the husband, like you are safe. You're safe to be who you are. You're safe to act like you will. 10:05 You're safe to say what you will, safe to be here with the family. I think that's a traditional, you know, masculine role. I know women can play that role and do in many cases. 10:14 But, like, that's one that I think as a, a father to two sons, I will teach them. Like, hey, I even already do. Older brother, younger brother dichotomy is, is just like what you'd expect. They are best friends. 10:25 They love each other. But a four-year-old doesn't necessarily know how much it, he can hurt on ac-accident even, the youngest one-and-a-half-year-old. 10:33 And so a lot of times they'll be playing, and they'll get kind of rough, and then, you know, the youngest will start crying, and I, you know, go to the oldest and I say, "Hey, you have to protect your brother. 10:42 You, you're the older brother. He's gonna follow your lead. He's gonna wanna be just like you. It's your job to make sure he's safe. 10:49 It's your job to make sure you protect him, and you gotta look out for what the, you know, the things that maybe you could do with someone who's also four and big like you, but you can't do with someone who's small and still delicate." 11:00 And so these very early concepts of you being a protector, I think that's a healthy masculine role. Some of the things that I don't think are healthy that I'm trying to... 11:12 healthy about the traditional masculine role that I'm trying to really teach them to exhibit are emotions. I think traditional masculinity says that men or boys should not be emotional. You know, suck it up. 11:27 You know, scr- you know, wipe off your knees. It's fine. You'll be fine. But actually, look at the science. Men, specifically boys, pre-adolescent and adolescent, are insanely emotional, unbelievably emotional. 11:43 I mean, you look at my own childhood. Half the reason I got in trouble all the time was because I was just an emotional wreck. 11:49 And so when you look at a two-year-old crying because he scraped his knees or a five-year-old or a 10-year-old crying because someone hurt their feelings or they weren't picked in tag or whatever happens when you're five and 10 years old, I don't know yet. 12:00 I'm, you know, my kids aren't that old yet. Like, that's okay. You should be sad. You should be able to cry and, and, and express your emotions. Yeah. Obviously, there's a controlled environment. 12:10 Like, let's not be chaotic for the sake of being emotional, but, like, you should be able to be emotional as a boy- Yeah... as a man. 12:19 And I think the generations' longToxic masculinity will say, "Well, you know, suck it up. Don't be emotional. You're a man. Be a man." It's like, well, let's undo that. I think when my kids- Yeah... 12:30 10 and 15 years from now are emotional, like they'll know there's a time and place to be emotional and also express those emotions, ideally someday with like a partner. 12:40 Like, I feel safe expressing my emotions with my wife, and that's because we've built a relationships over, you know, 10 years, where like I can be myself and really share what I'm feeling in those moments with her. 12:51 Yeah. And she- she's my wife, and she's great at hearing those moments, so. Yeah. Dude, that's huge. Do you... I- I've never thought about this until you just spoke about it, but it was... What was it? 13:02 Um, uh, I wish I could remember the... Maybe you know. Suicide Awareness Month. What i- what month is that? It just happened. I think it's October. October, November, one of... Right? No. Let's look it up. 13:12 Yeah, look it up real quick. I'm- I'm looking it up right now. Fact-check this real quick [laughs] 'cause it just happened. I'm looking it up right now. And I saw a lot of posts about it. Yeah. 13:17 September, officially recognized as National Suicide Prevention- Okay... Awareness Month. Yep. Okay, that's why I recently saw something. I saw something along the lines of men typically commit suicide more than females. 13:28 And do you think that... And a lot of it came down to there was one specific stat, I wish I could remember. You could probably look it up now. 13:34 It's very popular, and it's like X percent of men do not speak up, and then that's why they commit suicide. Do you think that 13:41 the traditional masculinity of like just be a man has caused a lot of this, I guess, mental health issues or these mental health issues- Mm... and, and you know what I'm saying? 13:52 Like, I'm thinking of it right now on the [laughs] like on the spot. So I'm just like, huh. Yeah. We've been taught to not be emotional. Um, I have a lot of thoughts on this. And a lot of people don't speak up. 13:59 No, yeah, go ahead. I'll read a couple stats first. Approximately 40% of men have never spoken about their mental health with anyone. Mm. See. And 29% of those say they're too embarrassed to speak about it. Mm. 14:12 And then there's a few other stats. While 20% say there's a negative stigma on the issue, biggest cause of mental health issue in w- in men's lives are work, 32%, finances, 31%, or health, 23%. 14:25 So 40% of men polled said it would take thoughts of suicide or self-harm to compel them to get professional help. So those are some staggering statistics. Um, I pulled those... 14:36 I'll tell you exactly where I pulled those, directly from priorygroup.com. Uh, we can put the link to this study in the show notes. There's a couple infographics that are worth looking at as well. 14:47 But I am unfortunately very familiar with suicide in my life. My roommate in college took his own life when I was on my way to school one day. He, I frequently would take him to class, um, or work. 15:02 He worked part-time at the campus. And I remember the morning it happened, I, I was like, "Hey, man, you good? You need to go to work today? I'm on my way to class. 15:09 Do you want me to take you, you know, to work or whatever to campus?" He goes, "No, no, I'm good." "All right, man. Well, you know, hit me up if you need anything." 15:15 45 minutes later, I get a call that he took his own life at my house. Ugh. And I, I remember, I w- uh, no one's, no one's prepared to receive that call. It was someone very close to me called me. 15:30 I was at a coffee shop studying for an exam, and they said, "Daniel, are you sitting down right now?" And I said, "Yes." And they said, "I won't m- say his name. He took his own life." And I y- I yelled. 15:43 I didn't even know what to do. I said, "What?" Top of my lungs, and then I started hyperventilating as I walked out of the coffee shop, almost passed out. 15:51 My then friend, Courtney, current wife, happened to be there and kind of followed me out, and I was a train wreck. 16:00 To this day even, I can, I can get bottled up thinking about it, 'cause it was the worst, it was the worst moment of my entire, entire life by far. Yeah. 16:07 And me and I have sev- several other roommates that lived in that house, uh, all had to seek counseling, and I mean, it was just a really, really, really difficult time of life. 16:16 Fast-forward a few years ago, um, one of my best friends took his own life, and I got the call from another friend who was already in tears on the call calling me. 16:28 And so you hear, you hear the breath of someone on a phone, and you answer it, and you know your heart sinks. You know what you're about to be told is gonna change your life forever, and it did. 16:38 And I could name other instances like this. I believe men are s- are struggling silently. The stats we just read says that this is the case, but I believe it's happening so often right in front of us that we need to ask 16:54 questions. We need to draw people out. We talked about this in a couple episodes ago. Yeah. Yeah. Like, asking good questions. We talk about this in sales all the time, discovery questions. 17:05 Ask questions that make the other person talk about themselves, talk about their pain, talk about what problems they can't solve. 17:12 We need to do that inquisitively with our friends because most of them, 40%, that's a lot, so maybe not most, majority, 40% of the people in your circle statistically are dealing with mental health problems that they're not talking to anyone about. 17:31 And I think you mentioned a TikTok about, you know, a, a mom whose son had taken his own life, and it was like, you know, there were signs, and it was all these, all these videos and a compilation of videos where he was happy and having a great time, and then all of a sudden he had taken his own life. 17:45 The problem is there aren't signs. That's the point of th- of this video compilation. A lot of times there are zero signs. When it happens, it is shocking. 17:55 There was, quote, "Nothing you can do," but actually what you could have done is just ask the really uncomfortable questions. "Hey, man, are you actually doing okay? I'm concerned about you." 18:07 Who cares if he gets offended? If you're concerned about someone, that's a good friend saying, "Hey, man, I'm concerned. You haven't responded to my messages the last month. 18:17 I haven't seen you at the regular X, Y, or Z thing for the last few weeks. You know-"I don't know, maybe it's, "Your wife tells me s- something's up." Like, she's concerned about you, so she asked me to talk." 18:30 I mean, whatever situation brings it about, ask the questions. Put yourself at risk in order to make sure that your friend, who you care about, is not at risk. That's my... I implore you who are listening to this, 18:43 your risk is not as great as the risk to your friend's livelihood if there is something that should be discussed that they're not talking to anyone about. Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm. I'm gonna let that simmer for a bit, 18:57 'cause that's important, and I think that we- we did talk about this, what, two episodes ago, where I'm kinda... Everyone, I'm o- I'm okay. 19:06 But I'm, I'm one of those where I'm like if I'm struggling or if I'm, you know, emotionally sad or emotionally just, like, beat up or burnt out, I'm like, "Ah, I'm gonna get over this. I'll get over this by myself. 19:16 I'm good. I'm good." And I never say anything, ever, ever, ever, ever. Again, I'm good. But I think it's important to, to hear that, like, 19:25 I'm definitely not alone in this, and I would even argue it's probably more than 40% of people that don't actually- I think so... and men, that don't actually express how they're truly, truly feeling inside. 19:36 Um, so that's huge. That is huge. I'm gonna bring you back in to a couple questions. It's like, how do you derail that serious conversation and such a heartfelt- Yeah... 19:45 conversation to, to coming back to these questions, but it's what we do with this podcast. Um, your four-year-old, like, at this point, he's got his own personality. Right? Yep. 19:54 He's developing it more and more every single day. Is there, like, is there any personal trait that you have that you can see that he's starting to have that you wish he did not have? 20:05 [laughs] Where you're like, "Oh- That I wish he didn't have... he got that from me, and I wish he didn't." [laughs] Um, I don't think I'd say anything I wish he didn't have. 20:15 I think he's a very interesting combination of my wife and I. He is rambunctious and articulate and silly, all like me. Looks like me, too. Super tall, like, big for his age. Boy. He just, you know, he just looks... 20:32 I know, he's gonna have a bald spot when he's 28. Um, you know, so all those qualities, like, you look at him, you're like, "Oh, that's obviously Daniel's son." But whereas I, at his age, was fearless. I did anything. 20:47 I would get hurt all the time from doing things you shouldn't even do, like climbing on top of the, you know, the playground and, you know, I was already doing, like, BMX and rollerblading and skateboarding, and I played hockey. 20:57 Like, all the stuff that's just, like, kind of extreme, doing all that. He's very, like, "I'm not gonna do this until I'm confident I'm gonna do it perfectly." And so that's my wife. 21:07 My wife is, is very, like, measured and cautious. I'm like imeasured. [laughs] I- imeasured? I don't even know this word. I just go and I do. It is now. And it's like, well, ideally I live, you know? 21:17 Ideally I survive this crazy thing. So I don't know. I- I haven't thought, "Oh, man, I wish he wasn't like that. That's clearly from me." But he is definitely developing, like, he is 100% his own person. 21:28 And it's like- Yeah... oh, wow. It's so cool to see a, a person take on the shape of both parents. I mean, I love that. Yeah, yeah. It's sick, and it's so cool to watch Liam grow up. [laughs] And he's in a- Yes... 21:40 he's in a phase right now. He's in a little testing phase. How far can he push the boundaries and test us with, "Hey, will you go pick that up?" "No." I'm like, "All right, will you please go pick it up? 21:50 Are you listening?" [laughs] The stubbornness starts to show. Oh, yeah. Starting to show. Is there any, like, is there any pre-dad life feeling or moments that you grieve now that you are a dad? Kind of. 22:01 We, we just, I just bought a treadmill a week or two ago. Ooh, what that? So that... W- It's a NordicTrack 2950. I was gonna say- It's pretty cool... there's no way you're going, like, cheap. 22:14 [laughs] You're going- No, it's... Well, I got it on Facebook Marketplace... you're going name brand. [laughs] I always get the best thing I can find on Facebook Marketplace. Um, it was nice, though. Oh, oh. 22:20 It has a huge TV on the front. It's, you know- Yeah, yeah... built-in coolness. But, um, the reason I did this is because now that both kids, I can, I can watch both kids for a whole weekend. It's awesome. 22:31 They're both sleeping well. Like, we're in a new stage of life where my wife can go and do stuff at night because I can handle the kids. This wasn't until recently that our youngest would even, like, allow that. 22:42 But a lot of times she'll go do something with friends at night or have, like, something for work, and I'll be at home and the kids will be asleep. And I'm like, "Oh, what a perfect opportunity for me to go running." 22:52 Well, you can't do that. Your kids are asleep. Yeah. And you gotta stay at home. And so I'm like, all right, well, you know, then what do I do? I, like, watch TV, work more, or, like, read. 23:02 I'm like, uh, it's just, there's, like, not that much stuff to just do while you're alone while the kids are asleep. 23:06 So that's why I got a treadmill, 'cause I can run in the garage when my kids are asleep and Courtney's out. Like, it's a literal perfect situation. 23:13 I've already done it, and there's, like, three or four times this week where I'm gonna be able to take advantage of that. 23:18 So when you say, like, mourn, I don't know, I think the flexibility of what you do after, like, a- at night. 23:25 Like, when you have kids, until they're old enough to be alone, which is, like, a lot of time from now, uh, for me, y- they go to bed and you are, you're locked in. Um, obviously- Yep... 23:36 you get babysitters and nannies, and we do that all the time, but, like, with that exception, you have your kids' bedtime and that's your own kind of built-in schedule in your life. And, you know- Yeah... 23:48 I, I certainly miss the days where I could literally do whatever I want at any time of the day or night. Uh, you just can't do that when you have kids. You can't just do whatever you want, whenever you want. Yeah, yeah. 23:58 I think that, that we miss that as well. It's like we're out with friends and, you know, their kids and it's 7:00 PM. Kids, for us, our kids, you know, we pick them up from daycare 4:45-ish. 24:07 It's like, wow, it's already 7:00. Well, we gotta go home- Yep... and get ready for bed. Yep. And then we're stuck inside. 24:12 But so something you talk about a lot in this podcast is just how amazing Courtney is, how much she does, how great she is as a wife, as a mother, all this stuff. 24:20 Who do you think is carrying the bigger mental load right now, and do you think she would agree? Mental loadFor what? For everything. Life, right? 24:29 Like, so the entire, the entirety of just being a mom, being a wife, being a father, being a, a dad, things like that. 24:36 So you have work, right, on your plate, and then you also have Palmetto, and then you also have this, and then you also have the kids. She's got the kids full time. She also has Palmetto. 24:42 She- I'm sure she's got other stuff going on, maybe some family things. So like, who do you think is carrying the, the larger portion of the mental load, and would she agree with your answer? 24:52 I think we would both really struggle to even answer this question. I carry the mental load of our lives operating financially. 25:03 Like, that's all on me, and I have to make sure that we are able to save and pay our bills and pay for life. 25:12 But like parenting, she is a full-time mom, and she is the one who knows our children best, knows their schedules. I know all these things too. 25:22 Like, like I said, I just watched them for like four days a couple weekends ago. She was in Boston. It was great. But like, with those exceptions, I mean, she's the mom all day, every day. 25:32 And so even like the way our schedules are, we have a pretty good system where we have a shared calendar and we put things in there and, you know, we'll tell each other about stuff, but we put it in a shared calendar. 25:43 It's at the point where if it's not in the shared calendar, it doesn't exist. 25:46 And for my own mental sanity, that's how I have to operate because I live by a calendar so frequently in my, in my current life that, like, if it's not on the calendar, it's just like, I just can't remember it. 25:57 So in that sense, like, she is the keeper of the calendar. She knows what the kids need and when they need it. She'll coordinate a lot of our, like, our, uh... when we have dates. We have dates every weekend. 26:06 She'll coordinate the, um, nanny who will-- If we need a nanny. I mean, sometimes it's like, you know, timing. My mom might come over and stuff, but usually it's a nanny at night. Who carries the mental load? It, uh, 26:19 I think we'd both agree I'm more stressed, uh, whether or not that's because I'm carrying a larger mental load or not. Mm. Yeah. I, I think we'd probably both say me. Yeah. 26:28 I think if we, if we had to say, I think we'd both say me, but I don't know if that's because that's true or if it's because she just handles her stress better than I do. [laughs] I don't know. I lo- I love your answers. 26:40 Your answers are always so, like, strategic, and- I should go into politics, huh? You wanna make sure that you're not s- [laughs] I know, that you're not saying the wrong- Run for the United States... the wrong thing. 26:48 You do. You... That's exactly how you, uh, that's exactly how you answer questions. Do you ever pretend to be bad at like a specific chore around the house just so you don't have to do it? 26:55 And so that she doesn't ask you to do it? [laughs] You're like, "Uh, oops." What a specific question. No, I have to, I have to ask you this question right now because you obviously have one that you've thought of. 27:02 No, no, no, no. But- I don't, I don't think I do. Uh- I don't think I do. Let's see. Think real quick. 27:07 Uh- No, I think, like, there's, there's chores, there's chores that, like, we both know is usually gonna be done by the other person. I, I always take the trash out. It just... We've never really discussed it. 27:18 It's just like I do. I always take the trash out. Um, you know, we both kind of share the load with vacuuming, although a lot of times she'll vacuum more because she has time during the day when I'm working to vacuum. 27:29 Like cleaning up clutter, uh, we'll both typically do that in the living room. At the end of the day, you know, kids throw stuff everywhere. Every day your house is a wreck, and then you clean it up. 27:36 That's just how it works. But yeah, I mean, no, I don't think there's... Cleaning the bathrooms maybe. Yeah. I hate cleaning bathrooms. Mm. I hate cleaning bathrooms. Mm. Yeah. I don't refuse to. I will. 27:48 But like, I definitely procrastinate. Leave it, leave it dirty next time. Be like, "I swear, I cleaned it." [laughs] Oh. Yes. I don't know if there... 27:55 I feel like I, I hate changing diapers, and I know that's just part of it, but I feel like I just did it for so many years with Liam, and of course it resets every time we have an- another kid, and so 28:05 I never act bad at it, but I think that she usually changes them the most. However, 28:10 little one, baby Harrison, he is, he is fighting for his life to not get his diaper changed, so a lot of times I'll even go in there and just hold him down so she can... 28:18 You know that phase, and so we're in that phase right now. Are you brushing, are you brushing his teeth yet? Um, sometimes. We brushed- Oh my gosh... Liam's every single day when he got his first tooth. 28:28 We definitely are way more lenient with, uh, with Harrison. Dude. We probably should start brushing more, but. We-- I literally have to... I put, I, I'm straddling him, leg on both sides of his body. Yep. 28:39 I take my arm and shove both of his arms on his chest. Mm-hmm. I take my other arm and I hold his head, and then I brush him like this, 'cause he, he- Hates it... won't, he won't let- Oh... 28:51 and he'll just close his mouth, and so I have to like rip his mouth open. Now he's got like I don't know how many teeth now, like, like basically a full mouth of teeth. Oh, it's so annoying. I'm like, "Dog, just let me." 29:02 And people, "Oh, well, they're baby teeth. They're all gonna fall out." I'm, I'm pretty sure that's not how like oral hygiene works. Like yeah, they're all gonna fall out, but like seems like you need to brush them. 29:11 I don't know. Uh, uh, I brush. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We brush our kids' teeth, but like it's, oh, it is my least, my least favorite thing to do. I will change... 29:18 If I had to choose between changing diapers and brushing teeth, I would change a diaper every single time. Yeah. I hate changing diapers, but I'll do it every single time. Yeah. 'Cause I hate brushing teeth. 29:25 It's just so annoying. So annoying. Let's see. So Liam, we're really big into like snot sucking. Mm-hmm. Like I don't know why. I think we talked about this on a very early episode. I hate when I see kids with just- Yes. 29:36 Just gross... gunk all coming out of their nose and- But also they can, they can breathe better when you do it, so- Yeah. Yeah, exactly... it's like good to do. And there's, there's, 29:43 there's sometimes parents that I see drop their kids off at daycare where I'm like, "You should have taken care of that before." Um, but- Yes... anyways, Liam- Or like keep them at home if it's bad enough. Yeah. 29:53 [laughs] Yeah. Some of these are just like I know- Oh, dude. It's so gross... she's like three, [laughs] three seconds away from not being able to breathe ever again. Um- Yeah, it's so nasty... 30:01 so all that to say is Liam hated, kind of like what you just said with snot sucking, he hate... or with, uh, brushing teeth, hated when we did the snot sucker. And same thing. 30:12 Yeah, I would, both arms, like we would have to do it as a team effort. I couldn't do it by myself, so it's like I have both arms and both legs. 30:18 Like I'm like pretty much sitting on him with- holding both arms, and she's getting the snot sucker and she's going after it. Um, it's pretty bad. 30:25 But no, right now Harrison's just rolling so much, and oh, he does not wanna lay on his back. It's bad. But no, there's no, there's no actual chore that I think IWe kind of have things split up. 30:38 I do-- I'm 100% of the dogs. I've got two dogs, so feeding them, walking them all, three walks a day, all that stuff, all me. 30:45 She's pretty much 100% cleaning, but I pick up at, like, if I'm cooking, no bigger pet peeve than having a dish, especially with there's food on it, in the sink. It drives me nuts. Oh, don't. Grosses me out. 30:58 Yeah, you gotta. Dude. You gotta put... Like, yes, people just throw their gross dishes in the sink with, like, their food still on it. I'm like, like- And then food still be there for days... 31:07 either get the junk off in the, in the, in the trash can, depending on what's on the plate. Dude. But also, like, rinse, rinse it off. Like- Yeah... get... That's why- It, it drives-... you have a disposal. 31:17 I mean, most people have a disposal. A lot of people don't. But, like, if you have a disposal, use the disposal. Yeah. Get... Yeah. Oh. [laughs] Drives me nuts, man. That's rough. And- That's rough... 31:25 I mean, I think I, in college, I probably just threw stuff in the, in the sink, and I got to it, you know, whenever I got around to it, for sure. But now if I see any food I'm like, "Why is that in the damn sink? 31:35 Go clean this thing." [laughs] So I'll clean it and whatever. It's messy. So let's leave it there. Do you wash your dishes while you cook if you're cooking a meal, or do you dirty all the dishes- Great question... 31:44 eat, and then wash all your dishes? Depends on how long the meal stays hot, and so I will say- Sure... if I'm cooking for myself, what typically would happen is I'd go cook lunch, let's just say it's tacos. 31:55 So I'll, you know, brown some beef, all that stuff, all that fun stuff, and when I make my tacos, like, it's too hot to eat right then and there. So I will wash- Yeah... 32:01 that skillet, clean it, put it back, and then I'll go eat. 32:05 But when I'm cooking for the whole family, and they're pretty picky so they're not always eating the same things as us, it's like multiple different things, so it's almost hard to clean everything before. 32:13 So what our normal routine is Monday through Thursday if we're not going out to eat, our normal routine is I'll typically cook, and then we all eat together, and then one of us goes and bathes. 32:23 Whoever's not bathing the two kids will go and do the dishes after 'em, so that's our normal routine right now, but I can't leave it out. I, it, it bothers me. It, it [laughs] drives me nuts. Drives me nuts. 32:34 Gosh, if you're doing that, stop. Stop. [laughs] Yeah, to, to you listening- Dude... if you are doing that. Yeah, it's, it's- Dude, did you, uh, did you set up your, your Beehive account for your TikTok chicken eating 32:49 thing? Yeah, and I actually have somebody that I'm working with [laughs] right now. Nice. All right. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, so I'm gonna just... This is laying it out. Love Beehive, okay? 32:59 Love Beehive, how this Google site- Shut up. Don't even. I, I hate where this is going. No, no, no, no, no. Y'all are making improvements, and it even says be- beta, like the kind of AI website builder- Oh, for sure... 33:09 that, but your, the customer success, I don't know who I'm talking to, actually. I just messaged him today. Victor? Trade Tech? Oh, yeah. You know him? Victor's the, the... He's the man. Yeah. He's solution engineer. 33:18 So he's been helping me 'cause there's like some things where it's like why is it expanding this when it shouldn't be? I'm telling it not to expand it. Yeah. 33:23 But, um, yeah, I'm building a site right now, have somebody even like helping me- Shout out Victor... a little bit with it. Yeah. What up, Victor? You're the man. What up, V? Also, new dad. Did I call him V? New dad. 33:31 Ooh, congrats, dude. Don't call him V. You could call him V. He probably won't respond. Yo, V, you hear? I've never heard anyone call him V until right now. [laughs] Um- Congrats on V for becoming a dad. Uh- But yeah... 33:40 he just came back from paternity leave. He's probably like, "Why is this idiot Troy wasting- No... my time with things- He probably wants a break... he could solve on his own." He probably wants a break. 33:49 He's like, "Hey, babe, somebody just messaged me. I gotta- [laughs]... I gotta take care of this." Three hours later- That's great... it's like one simple thing. Yeah, but he's been really helpful. 33:56 No, actually you're, with beta products, the feedback is probably really well-received. Yeah. So that's, that's good if you're, if you're finding areas of improvement. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we want. 34:03 And they, they reset the daily limits to like 24 hours. It was like, I think I had like five or 10 prompts in the beginning to change around the site, and then now it's just like it... 34:10 And it was like a month, but now it's daily, so it's sick, too. Hm. But this week I will have it all done and ready in Beehive. I need to create- Dope... 34:16 like a welcome letter, stuff like that, but on the chicken wing thing's a million views. Hit a million views in three weeks. Wow. Good for you. 6,500 shares, so we're getting there. Good for you. 34:24 We're getting there, dude. I went viral again this week. Let's go. Um, I can't stop. We're so good at this. I can't stop going viral. I can't stop going viral. I, I have almost 10,000 likes on this thread. 34:33 Uh, Wendy's replied. Lidl replied. Mm. Mm. Uh, yeah, just like, like there has to be a record for most viral nobody in the history of the internet. And it's you. 34:45 I'm somewhere up there 'cause I got, I got less than 600 followers on Threads, and I have an insane amount of impressions and virality there. Same with X, now almost 10,000 followers there, but still- Dude... 34:56 that's a lot. That's like not that many- No, that's good... in the grand scheme of things. For me to be going like mega viral with only 10,000? 35:02 LinkedIn's the only place that I actually have like a meaningful follower, like almost 25,000 now, but, you know, I, dude, I, I don't like LinkedIn anymore. LinkedIn's algorithm is so frustrating. I don't like it. 35:12 They're like, "Oh, push videos." I do so many great videos on LinkedIn, and I get like 100 impressions. No, videos are butt. Videos are butt. It's- They're butt... LinkedIn's just proven that they're butt. 35:20 It's just so annoying. I actually- Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous... just texted somebody today saying- Yep... 35:23 they were like, "Hey, I haven't seen you on LinkedIn in a while," and I said, "Probably my fault because I don't care about LinkedIn right now." Like I, I don't, I don't like it. I... 35:30 The platform- I'm gonna put, I'm gonna put a post on LinkedIn today. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be taking my talents elsewhere. Uh, if you need me- Unless-... follow me on X and Threads... 35:37 and then tag, tag the CPO, chief product officer. No, not even unless. No, no blackmail. Just this- Dude... this place sucks. That's kind of like, that's kind of why I'm- Uh, I don't like LinkedIn anymore... 35:45 yeah, it's kind of why I'm, I'm, I'm expanding into TikTok, and honestly, like, couple things. 35:49 One, to not talk about, and that's actually why I love this podcast, to not just like strictly talk about B2B is so nice, and two- Yeah, I know... like just being able to eat food is kinda cool. Um- Yeah... 36:00 a lot of places hit me up for free stuff, so that's, that's sweet. I love that. I don't know if it'll go anywhere. I don't really care. It's just like- Yeah, who cares? Have a good time... 36:07 I, I've had 19 wing places in the last 22 days. Yeah. I'm a fat lard. The thing about... [laughs] That's funny. Uh, that's a lot. That's a lot of wing places. 36:16 The thing about creating content is if it doesn't directly make you money, the act of doing it consistently will lead to opportunities. 100%. I mean, when I, when I follow the thread of the last 36:30 December 2025, the last like eight years, and when I started really leaning into just making stuff online-Everything leads to a better thing. I mean- Yeah... quite distinctly. 36:42 I can, I can trace all the different jobs or skills that led to the next job or skill that led to the next thing, and I'm like, just, I- it's just training yourself to just kinda always do it is the easiest way. 36:53 You know, you look at the horizon of five to 10 years of just doing something consistently, it's like, dude, put in the reps and it's gonna pay you back in, in, you know- Dude... 37:01 dividends well beyond what you can even comprehend. People, uh, one, people sleep on that, and two, I think it's just because it's kind of embarrassing to put yourself out there. Mm-hmm. 37:11 I've got a buddy, he played college basketball, and now he's like a head coach at, for the varsity team at a high school. Wow. Incredible basketball player. Incredible. Incredible coach as well. 37:20 And so now what he's doing is he's kind of like learning how to almost like teach these high school kids, like out of the high school team that he teaches, there's probably two or three that like really wanna make it to the NBA. 37:29 So what he's doing is he's learning, how do I teach these kids to have everything that they possibly need and can have to make it to the NBA? Yep. 37:36 But he's doing this, and he's like, he's like creating his own little business from it, right? Like what he wants to do is go to high schools, be like, "Let me work with your high school students. 37:43 I'm gonna teach them these traits, and then yada, yada." Like it's gonna lead to XYZ. Yep. 37:47 But I say that because he recently did his first podcast, and he sent it to me, and it was a great podcast, and I said, "Dude, great pod. Learned a ton about you. Keep doing stuff like this. 37:56 The more you put yourself out there, the more amount of opportunities will fall into your lap." And it is- Mm-hmm... 38:01 so true that if you just remove that single little inkling of just being embarrassed of putting yourself out there, doors just open. Yep. Like they just- Yep... they just do. That's all it takes. 38:12 And you never know what's gonna pop off. I mean, the posts I have that have gone crazy viral, you never know. I mean, y- you have, y- the more you do it, the more you kind of suspect something's- Yeah... gonna pop off. 38:23 Yeah. Which is a lot of times why I do it. I'm like, there's no other reason that I'm like, this is gonna pop off. I'm gonna, I'm gonna post it. 38:29 But like the ability to do that is actually something companies want, is like they call it growth hackers, they call it, you know, all the different words they have for it. 38:38 But like someone who knows a post or piece of content will be successful, a lot of people can't do that. Yeah. Like a lot of people don't have that. 38:47 But if you are chaotically online for years and years and years, and you understand the way the internet culture speaks, and you understand that language, oh, you're, you're 100 steps ahead of most people. 38:59 Uh, even people who are like social media managers, like they don't, they went to school for it someti- I mean, and I'm not like putting all the social media managers under the bus. No, all of them. 39:06 A lot of them are really good. All of you. [laughs] Really good at what they do. 39:09 Honestly, Bella Rose at Beehive is one of the best, but it, it takes someone who gets the intricacies of each different platform, the viral coefficient of a real brand and a cohesive voice. 39:22 But also like you have to know how the internet works. Yeah. And most people don't. 39:27 I mean, most people aren't-- they don't get what TikTok and Instagram and LinkedIn and Threads and, uh, you know, they don't get what all those different things really do, how they each speak on their own. Yeah. 39:38 Reddit and all the dif- there's so many nuances on the internet that you really have to like deeply understand to do it well. Yeah. And that's something that I think you do really well. 39:46 Even myself, I think I do it decently well, is like we kind of know what can go viral. Like I, I could probably- Yeah... post a meme right now and it'll go decently viral on LinkedIn, right? Yeah. Like so that's- Yeah... 39:55 that's arbitrary. But we kinda know what goes viral. You're incredible at the X thing. 39:59 Like I haven't even sniffed in that direction, but that's kinda why I think this TikTok thing will pop off is like I feel like I have a little bit of an idea- You have pretty good grasp... of what can go viral. 40:09 Um, but you just gotta keep doing it. They say if you don't hate your first post-- Yeah, if you don't hate your first post 12 months down the road, it means you waited way too long to start posting. So I think- Yeah... 40:17 people always wanna perfect it. I'm thinking about doing, I follow a guy, Quinn, on X, he does a daily video, just posts a video- Just random?... every single day. 40:25 Yeah, it's always a talking head video, just some stuff. Three- Yeah... four minutes long, like, you know, he just kind of... I don't even know. I mean, there's not like a single thing. It's always a whatever. 40:34 Thinking about doing something like that in 2026. I don't know if it'd be daily. I just don't wanna over- overload myself- Yeah... with bandwidth. Yeah. But like we talk on the podcast. We have the setup. 40:44 I know what it takes to produce videos, and especially like short three-minute clips. Like, why not? I think I'm probably gonna do something like that just to start talking more and- Yeah... putting out more content. 40:54 But we'll see. I mean, we put out a lot of content already. I think we just need to lean into some of it a little bit more. Yeah. But on X or what? What we're already doing. Uh, I don't know. 'Cause LinkedIn sucks. 41:02 Maybe X, maybe a YouTube channel. LinkedIn videos sucks. No, not LinkedIn. Maybe a YouTube channel. Oh. Maybe X, just native video on X. They're, they're doing a lot with video on X right now. Yeah. And yeah, we'll see. 41:11 I know we're coming up on time here. I don't know. So I'm posting these videos, not all of them, on Shorts, Reels, and TikTok. Yeah. Reels is my lowest performing one by a landslide, and I- Is it? 41:24 I didn't, I didn't have Instagram for three years, so I don't know Instagram, but I just kind of assume like, oh, short form videos, people want to know about restaurants- Mm-hmm... and wings, like this should pop off. 41:33 I thought for- Yep... sure the style was gonna pop off on, on Instagram. I was actually gonna go try to- Yep... not consult, but meet with people that I know that kinda do Instagram decently well. Yep. 41:42 'Cause I can't pop off on Instagram for the life of me. YouTube Shorts is doing okay. It's doing all right. Yeah. Like thousands of views each one, but still. I think, uh, Reels, 41:52 Reels and TikTok are very different, but I do think Reels is going, is, is optimizing consistency. So- Just keep on doing it. Yeah. Yeah, keep on doing it. It'll find the audience. Yep. But, um, Reels- Yeah... 42:04 has started doing a test period. I don't know what they call it. I think it's called a test period, where you post a video, and it tests your video against audiences- Hm... not following you. Interesting. 42:16 And it, it basically has it in a beta holding period until it finds an audience, again, one that's in specifically not following you, that it thinks it falls into that category, and then it releases the video to that specific category or audience. 42:33 And it's like a, it's like a snowball effect. Like if that audience accepts it, en- engages with it on that first post-beta release, then it releases to another one and another one. I have no idea if TikTok does that. 42:43 I don't think it's the same algorithm at all, but I've noticed that with Reels, and I just, I just actually found out about that last week. I was doing some, a little bit of digging. But yeah, I, they're very different. 42:51 I mean, you gotta treat them like totally different platforms, even though they're both short form. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I gotta figure it out. I gotta figure it out. Cool. I have no idea, but awesome, Daniel. 43:00 Great, great episode, man. Good episode. Where can they find you? We can find- Or us... 2Dads1Tech. Whatever. Us, 2Dads1Tech.com. Yeah. Find us at 2Dads1Tech.com. Subscribe on YouTube. Rate us on Spotify. 43:11 We are coming up on a full year of 2Dads1Tech. In fact- Is this it? Is this our 51st? This is 51, or is it-- This is our 52nd episode. Wow. Our, our first episode went live December 11th, 2024. Mm. 43:24 So one week from now, we'll be 365 days- Wow... of 2Dads1Tech, which is... That's unbelievable. That's crazy. That is crazy. Uh, we've done almost 600 videos on YouTube, 43:38 o- over 1,000 videos if you look at YouTube Shorts, YouTube, and Instagram Reels. We are- That's nuts... just scratching the surface. I think 2026 is going to show us what's really possible here. 43:48 Um, we got some cool things in the pipeline. Tell your friends, we want to expand this bad boy, and I think we can. Find us on 2Dads1Tech. Hit us up. Give us some ideas. We wanna talk to the people. 43:58 We wanna talk about what the people want. Thanks for listening. See you next Wednesday. We'll see you next Wednesday, everyone.
