3 Mental Models for Tired Parents

You’re running on two hours of sleep. 

Relentless pinging on Slack. You hear a muffled tantrum brewing in the kitchen. 

And you are at your limit. 

This is when most go into a survival mode… mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.

If you’re a parent, you’ve experienced this. Sometimes you succeed (or survive) and other times you’re left wishing for a mulligan. 

We don’t think we have the right to give out the definitive guide on parenting; but let’s chat about three mental models that have helped us stay sane when our house and life feels insane:

• Inversion

• Opportunity Cost

• Availability Bias

We discuss more parenting scares, date night strategies and work life balance in our podcast episode that dropped today. Check it out here!

1. Inversion: Start by asking what could go wrong

There’s a lot of pressure to be a great parent. You want to do what’s best for your kids and don’t want to mess them up. 

The problem is it’s hard to know what a great parent would do in every situation. 

Luckily, we all know what a terrible parent would do.

It sounds overly simple, but it works in parenting, work and life.

Instead of aiming to be a “great parent” this week, invert the question:

What would a terrible parent do?

Yell at his kid for interrupting a meeting. Snap at his wife. Doom scroll on his phone while at the dinner table. Check email instead of reading books at bedtime.

Once you name those? Avoid them. 

Remove the obvious negatives and the rest starts to take care of itself.

Inversion simplifies. When you’re running on fumes, simplifying is the name of the game.

2. Opportunity Cost: Every yes costs something

You’re deciding how to spend your time, energy, and attention every hour.

Every ‘yes’ is a ‘no’ to something else.

It helps to ask:

What’s the cost of saying yes to this right now?

Saying yes to answering one more email might mean saying no to bedtime stories. 

Saying yes to another late-night scroll might mean saying no to rest.

Parenting means recognizing what really matters—and choosing that more often.

3. Availability Bias: Don’t let loud voices drown out your own

The availability bias is putting more weight on things we hear most often or comes to our mind the quickest… even if it’s not right for us. 

And there’s no shortage of advice that might seep into our brains. 

The unsolicited parenting advice from your coworker? A viral post about screen time? The dreaded parenting TikTok reels?

They might be loud and confidently delivered, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for you or your kid. 

This bias creeps in when we outsource our own judgements and gut instincts to what’s the quickest to recall, not what’s the most useful. 

What’s the fix when faced with a decision?

Zoom out. Ask yourself:

Is this right for my situation or is it just the last memorable thing I heard?

Remember that you’re the expert on your kid. 

It’s helped us make better decisions and eliminate that pesky parenting guilt.

Wrap Up

These aren’t magic. They won’t help you sleep more or skip a tantrum like a YouTube ad. 

But they help you stay clear-headed and sometimes that’s the hardest part.

If you try one of these this week, let us know. We’d love to hear how it goes.

And if you want to hear more from us, subscribe at TwoDadsInTech.com.